But... Why?

Everyone else wept, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. Something inside me said that if I kept still for long enough, things would go back to normal, and I'd be able to take it all back. I could fix this as long as I didn't move. As the minutes ticked by, it dawned on me, every memory of what could have been.
In a flash, we were at the funeral, and there she was, lying there, looking as if she were merely sleeping. There was nothing wrong, it was all a dream. I stumbled to my feet and screamed, "Monica!", my voice breaking in my ears, shattering, driving it's splinters deep into my brain until I couldn't think, only move. I knew she was still awake, I. could see her breathing, there was nothing wrong, they were all mistaken. Nothing had happened to her, it was all a bad dream. It had to be, there was no way she was dead.
Suddenly, the Pastor was before me, his arms on my shoulders, trying to stop my mad dash. He was in on it, I knew it, they all were. Nobody was innocent of this crime, the blasphemy of trying to bury Monica within the ground, trying to stamp out the beauty of her life. It barely took any effort to shove the pastor away. He went flying, as if I had hurt him, he cried out, but I was deaf to them all now. The only one who mattered was Monica, she had to be alive, just had to be, there was no way she wasn't, I knew she couldn't be gone. The world was fair, it had to be, she had to be alive.
I reached the coffin. There she was, her cheeks still rosy, he hands wrapped around a black rose, her favorite flower. She was breathing, she had to be. There was no possibility she died. She had to be special, the drugs weren't enough, the doctors were wrong. She was still alive, she had to be. There was no way she was gone. The cuts on her wrists were healed, I could see it. I knew she was alive, the whiskey was water, it had to be. I lifted her out of the casket, I knew she was breathing, I just couldn't feel it. Any moment now, she'd speak, and the world would be right again. I just knew it, like the rooster knows it's dawn. I could see it coming.
But it never came. She never woke. I stood there, and felt the tears flow, and I knew, I had lost my sanity, and it would never come back.
And and neither would my sister...